IHM Diary -11.

 

Ladkiyon ke patience aur behaviour ko dekh kar koi insaan nahi soch sakta ki unn mein kitni shakti, kitni ekta hai…Agar woh kissi bhi kaam ko karne mein jutt jaaye toh woh poora karke hi chhodti hain, chahe kaisa bhi kaam ho…..Bas aisa hi kuch ekdin humari IHM ki kuch ladkiyon ne thaan liya…..mission “GIRLS HOSTEL KHALI KARO!!!!”
Pedo se patte jhadne shuru ho gaye the, thand ka mausam kareeb aa raha tha, humari chuttiyan kuch dino mein shuru hone wali thi aur next semester bhi shuru hone wala tha….Housekeeping practical lab ke bahar hum sab ma’m ka wait kar rahe the….. “Arey Vipo yeh haath pe itna bada nishaan kaise?” “Arey yaar mat puch Uru….Raat mein koi keeda kumre mein aagaya tha uska karnaama hai yeh…insect bite! Mera toh kuch nahi hai yaar Mudi aur Ritu ka usse bhi bura haal hai neck pe, leg pe aur pata nahi kahan-kahan….” “Hawwww!!!! Itna bura… tum log complaint kyun nahi karte ho?”

“Bahut kiya par koi nahi sunta…aaj Tinda ma’m ko application de ke inform kar dungi ki hum next month se bahar shift ho rahe hain….”
Jitni asaani se Vipo ne keh diya, yeh kaam utna asaan nahi tha…..
“Good Afternoon ma’m! yeh mera application hai…”
“Good afternoon! Kis baat ka?”

“Ma’m application for leaving the hostel from next semester….”
“Tum hostel chod rahi ho? Kyun? ”

“Ma’m bahut problem ho rahi hai… har din insect bites, phir paani ki problem….bahut pareshani ho rahi hain”
“Achcha ?? Badi Rajkumari banti ho! Aapke liye yahan especially ek nadi khadi karde hum??? Keedo pe criminal charges laga dete hai, aapko raat mein pareshan karne ke liye theek hai??? Aap bataiye kab free hain… Ek do law ke sections discuss kar ke supreme court mein arji daal dete hain”. Tinda ma’m ne apni sarcastic banavati smile de kar yeh kaha
“Main koi tumhara application accept nahi kar rahi hoon….tum hostel chodke nahi jaa sakti!”
“Ma’m par mujhe jaana hai! Please aap accept kar lijiye…”

“Bilkul nahi! Abh mere sarr pe tandav mat karo. Mujhe bahut kaam hai…”
“Yeh apne naam ke hi tarah hai “Tinda!” ekdum be-swaad…achche se baat karna aata hi nahi hai isse…” Vipo chidkar waapas hostel chali gayi…
Tinda ma’m ne Vipo ko toh bhaaga diya par unhe koi idea nahi tha ki woh inn saari ladkiyon ko kaise handle karengi…Ek ke baad ek… saari ladkiyan hostel chodne ki demand lekar Tinda ma’m ke pas pahunchti gayi….Par Tinda ma’m thi ki maani hi nahi rahi thi….

Finally inn ladkiyon ne common room mein meeting bulayi jahan yeh discuss hoga ki hostel kaise choda jaaye….
Abey yaar! Yeh sunn ne ke liye tayari hi nahi ho rahi hai…
Koi toh samjhao iss tinda ko….zindagi nark karne mein tulli padi hai….
Guys!! I have an idea. Hum bina bole hi hostel chod dete hain … Naa rahega baans naa bajegi bansuri…
Abey yeh idea sahi hai….abhi jab chutti ke liye jaa rahe hain toh saara samaan pack karke nikal jaayenge kisko pata padne wala hai ki hum boriya bistra leke hostel se kalti ho rahe hain…
Done! Toh ab yahi plan raha….

Mazaa aayega yaar! Sab milke bahar rahengi achcha ghar, achcha khana…koi warden ki chik-chik nahi….Aish karenge hum toh!!!!
Woh kahavat toh suni hogi ke deewaaro ke bhi kaan hote hain? Bas IHM mein yeh thoda improvise ho jaata hai, yahan diwaaro ke nahi, hawaao ke kaan hain…. Hawa dolte dolte dusro ke kaano mein baat phaila deti hai…

Yahan yeh ladkiyan chupchaap hostel se nikalne ka plan bana rahi thi aur wahaan hawa ne apna kaam Tinda ma’am ke CG tak kar diya tha….
Ab aap soch rahe honge CG ka matlab kya hai? CG ka full form hain “Chaatu Gang” Yeh humari college ki woh janta hai, joh bachcho ke nazaro mein ISI hain aur Teachers ke nazaro mein RAW agents….Yeh humari hi kaum ke hain matlab yeh saare students hain, par inka character zara alag hai. Yeh teachers ke saath kuch zyaada hi chipakte hain, unki buttering, chamcha giri karte hain aur secret agents ki tarha har baat ko teachers ke kaano tak pahuncha dete hain…

Bas humari aise hi ek junior ne yeh baat Tinda ma’am tak pahuncha di…. Tinda ma’am Ekta Kapoor ke serial ki saas ki tarha muskura kar bolin “ Abh dekho main kya karti hoon…..”
Agle hi din notice board pe yeh farmaan chipak gaya ki koi bhi ladki apne ghar sirf ek back pack le jaa sakti hai aur agar woh ek back pack se zyada bags hostel se bahar le jaate hue mili, toh uske vacations cancel ho jayenge aur woh us vacations ke liye hostel arrest kar di jaayegi….
“Bas yahi padhna baaki reh gaya tha…”

“Dimaag kharab hogaya hai kya inka, kuch bhi bakwas kar rahe hain. Humein hostel mein band karke inn logo ko kya milega…”
“Sach pucho toh filhaal aisa khoon khol raha hai mann kar raha hai iss Tinda Ma’m ko kaat kar Tinde ki sabji bana kar gareebo mein baant du….”
“Koi fayda nahi hai .. Itni be-swaad hai yeh ki gareeb bhi nahin khaayenge… street dogs se unki opinion pooch lo – pasand aayega yaa nahin” peechhe kisi ne tadka lagaaya..
“Beta yeh akhiri saal bhi pinjre mein bandh hone ke liye tayar hojao”

Yeh baatein Vipo aur saari ladkiyan milkar kar hi rahi thi….Tabhi Mudi ko ek idea aaya….
Yaar sahi idea aaya hai…
Ladko ki help lagegi par sahi adventure hoga
Idea kya hai?
Karna kya hai?

Idea share hua, plan of action bana aur raat ka bade hi bekarari se intezaar hone laga….
Finally, raat ke 1 bajj rahe the, sab soo chukke the….sivaay humari ladkiyon ke
Ek ke baad ek gaadiyan college ki peeche wali boundary ke baahar park ho gayi, Ye boundry girls hostel se lagke tha….
Ladkiyon ne apne bags pack kiye aur upar hostel ki chatt se phekna shuru kiya…jab ek bag pheka toh zor se awaaz aayi jisse college ka watchman joh girls hostel ke bahar so raha tha woh uth gaya…

Kaun hai wahan par ? Yeh awaaz kaisi aayi ? Shayad se main sapna dekh raha honga kyunki yahan par toh koi nahi hai…watchman phir se apni kursi par baith kar soo gaya…
Nair ji ka phone aaya “Mudi itni upar se itna bhaari saaman phekegi toh awaaz aayegi hi….tum logo boundary ke pas aao naa…”
“Abey pagal hain kya kaise aayenge hostel bahar se lock hai aur taale ki chaabhi woh watchman ke pas hai joh bahar soo raha hai…”
“Haan toh usse chaabhi chura lete hain…waise bhi ghode gadhe sab beech ke so raha hai woh…” Vipo ne kaha
“Nair 3 baje hum sab ready hoke boundary ke pas milte hain…”
“Okay! Done.”

Jab tak yeh ladkiyon ki team bahar kaise nikle uska plan execute kar rahi thi, tab tak Nair ji ne, Chibbu, Kaushal aur baaki sab logo ko changed plan ki update dedi…
“Yaar haalat bahut kharab horahi hai!!! darr lag raha hai agar watch man uth gaya toh…”
“Kuch nahi hoga…”

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Abh yeh puri girls gang split hogayi thi 3 groups mein ek ka kaam tha warden ko uske kamre mein band karne ka, dusra tha watchman ke pocket se adhi lakti hui chaabhi chura kar kholne ka aur sabke saamna ko neech boundary tak laane ka…
Warden ko bahar se lock karne ka kaam ho gaya tha…saara saaman neeche tak pahunch raha tha ab baari thi Vipo aur Mudi logo ki….
“Yaar pata hai kitna maza aa raha hai! Yeh mera first time hai…insta pe story share karu kya? Caption rakhungi first time doing chori ! What fun….”excitement mein Vipo boli…
“tu chup karne ka kya legi….”

Mudi ne bandh grill ke beech se hath bahar nikala aur chaabhiyaan lene ki koshish ki…uss ne chaabhiyaan pocket se nikal na toh manage kar liya par uske hath se chaabhiyaan chhoott ke zameen par girr gayi….
Chaabhiyaan girr ne ki awaaz jaise hi aayi Vipo aur Mudi Deewar ke peeche chup gaye aur chupke se dekhne lage …Watchman utha toh sahi par phir woh kharaate maar ke so gayaa. Chaabhiyan wahin giri hui thi. Phir yeh dono dabbe paon grill ke pas gayi, neeche baithi aur chaabhi ko uthaane ki koshish ki, finally chaabhi mil gayi thi….
Chaabhiyon ke iss guchche mein thi 10 chaabhiyan,

“Abey yeh watchman hai yaa chaabhiyon ki factory itni chaabhiyan apne pas kaun rakhta hai bey!!! ”
Jaise taise karke Vipo ne andar se hath bahar nikaal kar ek ek chaabhi try karni shuru ki… finally taala khul gaya…
Khushi toh aisi thi jaise India Pakistan se cricket match jeet gaya ho…

Ab sabse bada task tha grill ko kholna…
Abbey yaar yeh kitna awaaz karta hai khulte hue, hum bina shor ke kholenge kaise?
Guys yeh tel ki bottle warden ma’am ki hai, use karlo….
Yeh tujhe kaha se mili…
Bathroom mein padi thi…
Tujhe kaise pata yeh warden ma’am ki hai?

Chameli ka tel hai bey!!! Hum mein se koi bhi chameli ka tel laga nahi sakta, itna bharosa mujhe hum sab par hai…
Grill mein tel daal kar smoothly khol ne ki koshish hui…finally gate khul gaya aur sab logo ne bahar ki taraf halla bol diya….bhaar nikalte hi aisa lag raha tha jaise unn sab ne kabhi chaandni dekhi hi nahi thi…sab upar ki taraf chand ko dekh kar khush horahe the….
Guys chalo fatafat yeh saaman ladko ko de dete hai…
Mudi ne nair ko call kiya… “Bhai position lele hum ready hain!”
“Okay! Guys ready ho jao ladkiyan bahar aagayi hain…”

Ek ek karke saare bags ladko ko de diye gaye…aur chupke se wapas grill kholke dabbe pao saari ladkiyan andar ghussi….Vipo ne grill lock kar diya aur chaabhiyon ka guchcha pocket ke exact neeche rakh diya taaki subah uth kar watchman ko lage ki chaabhiyan girr gayi thi….Sab apne kamre mein wapas chali gayin, warden ma’am ke kamre ke darwaaze ka lock khol diya gaya…
Bas yeh hostel ke kuch hi last ghante the….

Subah hui saari ladkiyan apni back packs lekar waise hi nikli, jaise Tinda ma’am ne kaha tha….Ma’am aur warden ma’am ladkiyon ko dekh kar bada hi muskura rahi thi. Yeh soch kar ki bade aayi hostel chhodne wali…mere hukum ke bina toh koi patta nahi hilta yahaan, tum hostel kahaa se chodti….
Saari ladkiyan ek-ek karke bahar nikli….gate ke uss paar saari ladkiyan thi aur gate ke iss par Tinda ma’am badi hi proudly khadi thi…tabhi bhaagte bhaagte watch man aaya “Tinda ma’am! Tinda ma’am! ”

Saari ladkiyon samajh gayin ki unki pol khul gayi hai, par ab Tinda ma’am kar bhi kya sakti thi… Sari ladkiyan hostel khali karke bahar khadi….muskura rahin thi…
“Girls on the count of three sab yahan se bhaag jaayenge… okay? Sab ready hain?….”
“Haan!!!”

Watchman bhaagte hue Tinda ma’am ki taraf aaya… “Madam ji hostel khali hogaya hai…ladkiyan hostel khali karke gayi hain!!!!!”
Tinda ma’am gusse mein palti aur chillaayin
“Commeee here !!!”
“1….
2…..
3…..
BHAAGOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! ”
Tinda ma’am khadi khadi chillaati rahin aur saari ladkiyaa wahan se rafu chakkar hogayin.
Believe me abhi tak Tinda ma’am ko koi idea nahi tha, ki yeh ladkiyan uss din itne saaman ke saath bahar nikli kaisi…
– Urvashi